Sunday, February 7, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
another reason why I haven't written a book
Anne Lamott. A friend of mine gave me the book Traveling Mercies. Who would have thought that I'd ever voluntarily read a book written by "a fan" (my personal feeling is that God and I are good, it's his fan club that flips me out). But my friend is always telling me great stuff she's read by this woman and in my new life I'm a little better at accepting that along with my gait and balance, my cultural viewpoints might just be a little off.
So I've been reading this book and I absolutely love it. I really feel vindicated as far as writing goes, I now don't have to write anything for real because she already says everything I would, but way better. How can I not adore a "left-wing Christian" who publicly stated her belief that the right-wing members of the fan club who think "Jesus is coming back next Tuesday right after lunch" are "just spiritualizing their own hysteria."
I'm getting to be her biggest fan.
source: Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies (Anchor Books, February 2000) p.60
So I've been reading this book and I absolutely love it. I really feel vindicated as far as writing goes, I now don't have to write anything for real because she already says everything I would, but way better. How can I not adore a "left-wing Christian" who publicly stated her belief that the right-wing members of the fan club who think "Jesus is coming back next Tuesday right after lunch" are "just spiritualizing their own hysteria."
I'm getting to be her biggest fan.
source: Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies (Anchor Books, February 2000) p.60
Sunday, January 24, 2010
'dems r fightin' wurdz
I should know better. Even as I began typing, that little voice kept saying "Dude no. You don't wanna do this, you're just gonna harsh your own mellow". "Do some breathing, clean the kitchen, watch some tube, whatev - just stay out of it man, it's not like youre ever gonna change anything...." I really need to listen to myself more often.
However, I'm still pretty new at adhering to the whole "Live and let live" and "Be in the world but not of it" thing and old habits and thought patterns die hard. Some harder than others. So, against my better judgment I went an did it. I commented on a story in the Trib.
The story is about a woman who was, according to the paper and a city governing agency, discriminated against by her employer for having children. What made her situation unique is that instead of filing a suit in court, she filed a complaint with the Chicago Commission on Human Relations. I'm including a link to the piece if anyone wants to read it.
My comment wasn't actually on the story itself, which in hindsight says a lot. My comment was directed to a small percentage of other commentators, the ones who feel the workplace and the current tax code discriminates against people without children. I know, I know, touchy subject and not one I can really claim objectivity to as I'm now a parent. But I did work and pay taxes for many years as a non-parent so perhaps that grants me some leeway. Anyway, this is what I wrote:
This country is biased against the childless, WE NEED CHANGE!. Please start by contacting your parents and having them return all and any tax deductions (plus the appropriate interest) that they benefited from due to having you. If you attended public school, and rode a publicly funded school-bus, please add a transportation and education fee - if you attended a State or Community College be sure to include the difference in tuition between the public school and a comparable private university. Of course it goes without saying that if your parents ever received any type of public assistance, welfare, food stamps, state issued complete or reduced child health coverage, it will be returned to the tax payers immediately. If either of your parents worked, and took any time off from their jobs - yes this includes ducking out 20 min. early - due to you being ill, or worse, so they could attend some ridiculous recital, sporting event or Parent/Teacher conference please be sure to reimburse said company if this time was outside of the original work agreement. I believe a certain percentage of medical research is publicly funded so a small charge for any life-saving vaccinations or treatments must be added. Oh wait your parents paid taxes? I apologize, your parents aren't responsible, YOU are (their taxes only covered themselves). Please remit payment within 90 days.
Shortly after, the following rebuttal appeared:
This is where I really went wrong. I replied to the reply. I know, I know - I should have let it go, it's not important and getting into an anonymous pissing contest on the internet is an unnecessary, self imposed stress and time sucker that can be avoided easily enough. And really, why did I feel the need to express it, other than trying to be clever in that sarcastic, snarky way of mine that I truly am making an effort to change. Certainly I know the old adage regarding opinions is true, like a certain part of human anatomy, we all have one. I guess I just really felt the need to point mine out and with it being too cold to go to a nude beach, well this was the next best thing:
Dear AR, I completely agree with you, that's my point. We should ALL be paying only for ourselves and our personal use of public resources. I have no problem paying more in taxes for my use of Public Transit, just as I'm sure those who drive their own vehicles are happy to pay more for their use of public roadways. Let's all sit down and figure out how much we owe and who we owe it to. Obviously, if you've never benefited from anything in the tax code since the moment of your birth, or have never used any public service you will be exempt. Once we have it all figured out, there won't be any need for that silly piece of paper known as the constitution as we will no longer be a country. Another bonus to this is that once we function as truly separate individuals, no one will be able to dumb anyone down, as there will be no group representation. Won't it be great?
Other than going back to the comment section to copy what I've posted here, I've decided to avoid reading anymore. Perhaps this makes me a coward, you know the whole "Oh, you can dish it out but you can't take it" thing or maybe it makes me wise in that whole "I've learned my lesson and will continue to avoid unnecessary stress - and most stress is unnecessary" way. Everything has at least two ways of looking at it, whichever one you perceive as positive is probably the way to go.
But (or in reference to opinions, Butt) maybe, just maybe, I'm supposed to put myself out there once in a while and exercise my first amendment right to express my opinion, especially since I've benefited from that right and many others granted to those of us fortunate enough to live in what's still considered a free society. Especially when I feel a lot of those rights are being threatened by well and ill meaning people alike. Especially when others, many who were much better people than me, fought and died to establish and protect those rights. Especially when I made a conscious decision to bring another life into this world, one that will hopefully be here long after my own life has ended.
Along with actively working to demonstrate the values of compassion and empathy to her shouldn't I also demonstrate the meaning of those freedoms granted by our constitution by at least occasionally exercising them in what I believe to be a responsible, albeit silly manner?
I guess ultimately I need to be the one deciding what's important enough to me to fight for and what to just let go. Right or wrong, whether you agree with my position or not, to me the right to hold and express our opinions and have them heard by those willing to listen (or read as the case may be) is worth a little stress.
And hey, how cool is it that even though "AR" felt my logic was provincial and sophomoric, they apparently thought enough of my technical skill to assume I'd attended a university. Very Awesome.
Now if you'll excuse me, that anatomical area of mine could also use some exercise.
However, I'm still pretty new at adhering to the whole "Live and let live" and "Be in the world but not of it" thing and old habits and thought patterns die hard. Some harder than others. So, against my better judgment I went an did it. I commented on a story in the Trib.
The story is about a woman who was, according to the paper and a city governing agency, discriminated against by her employer for having children. What made her situation unique is that instead of filing a suit in court, she filed a complaint with the Chicago Commission on Human Relations. I'm including a link to the piece if anyone wants to read it.
My comment wasn't actually on the story itself, which in hindsight says a lot. My comment was directed to a small percentage of other commentators, the ones who feel the workplace and the current tax code discriminates against people without children. I know, I know, touchy subject and not one I can really claim objectivity to as I'm now a parent. But I did work and pay taxes for many years as a non-parent so perhaps that grants me some leeway. Anyway, this is what I wrote:
This country is biased against the childless, WE NEED CHANGE!. Please start by contacting your parents and having them return all and any tax deductions (plus the appropriate interest) that they benefited from due to having you. If you attended public school, and rode a publicly funded school-bus, please add a transportation and education fee - if you attended a State or Community College be sure to include the difference in tuition between the public school and a comparable private university. Of course it goes without saying that if your parents ever received any type of public assistance, welfare, food stamps, state issued complete or reduced child health coverage, it will be returned to the tax payers immediately. If either of your parents worked, and took any time off from their jobs - yes this includes ducking out 20 min. early - due to you being ill, or worse, so they could attend some ridiculous recital, sporting event or Parent/Teacher conference please be sure to reimburse said company if this time was outside of the original work agreement. I believe a certain percentage of medical research is publicly funded so a small charge for any life-saving vaccinations or treatments must be added. Oh wait your parents paid taxes? I apologize, your parents aren't responsible, YOU are (their taxes only covered themselves). Please remit payment within 90 days.
Shortly after, the following rebuttal appeared:
Who turned over the big rock to let all this out? Dear 'justmy2". Did you ever ride a CTA bus/el or RTA bus? I haven't. YOU should pay more in taxes. Did you go to a public university subsidized with tax dollars? I didn't. If you did, YOU should pay more. Give me a break. Your provincial, sophomoric logic dumbs us all down.
Dear AR, I completely agree with you, that's my point. We should ALL be paying only for ourselves and our personal use of public resources. I have no problem paying more in taxes for my use of Public Transit, just as I'm sure those who drive their own vehicles are happy to pay more for their use of public roadways. Let's all sit down and figure out how much we owe and who we owe it to. Obviously, if you've never benefited from anything in the tax code since the moment of your birth, or have never used any public service you will be exempt. Once we have it all figured out, there won't be any need for that silly piece of paper known as the constitution as we will no longer be a country. Another bonus to this is that once we function as truly separate individuals, no one will be able to dumb anyone down, as there will be no group representation. Won't it be great?
Other than going back to the comment section to copy what I've posted here, I've decided to avoid reading anymore. Perhaps this makes me a coward, you know the whole "Oh, you can dish it out but you can't take it" thing or maybe it makes me wise in that whole "I've learned my lesson and will continue to avoid unnecessary stress - and most stress is unnecessary" way. Everything has at least two ways of looking at it, whichever one you perceive as positive is probably the way to go.
But (or in reference to opinions, Butt) maybe, just maybe, I'm supposed to put myself out there once in a while and exercise my first amendment right to express my opinion, especially since I've benefited from that right and many others granted to those of us fortunate enough to live in what's still considered a free society. Especially when I feel a lot of those rights are being threatened by well and ill meaning people alike. Especially when others, many who were much better people than me, fought and died to establish and protect those rights. Especially when I made a conscious decision to bring another life into this world, one that will hopefully be here long after my own life has ended.
Along with actively working to demonstrate the values of compassion and empathy to her shouldn't I also demonstrate the meaning of those freedoms granted by our constitution by at least occasionally exercising them in what I believe to be a responsible, albeit silly manner?
I guess ultimately I need to be the one deciding what's important enough to me to fight for and what to just let go. Right or wrong, whether you agree with my position or not, to me the right to hold and express our opinions and have them heard by those willing to listen (or read as the case may be) is worth a little stress.
And hey, how cool is it that even though "AR" felt my logic was provincial and sophomoric, they apparently thought enough of my technical skill to assume I'd attended a university. Very Awesome.
Now if you'll excuse me, that anatomical area of mine could also use some exercise.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
my first "widget"
In honor of my Father, a past recipient of the Clara Barton Award, and my dear friend Veej, currently "in the trenches" here in the U.S.
Politics aside, I truly believe that the Red Cross makes our world a better place. To everyone who has ever donated money, blood, or time, thanks.
Politics aside, I truly believe that the Red Cross makes our world a better place. To everyone who has ever donated money, blood, or time, thanks.
Friday, January 22, 2010
a different sort of news
I've already rambled on enough today, and have stuff I need to do but I realized I hadn't posted the thing I wanted to, so...
For a while now, every morning I read the Trib on the web as part of my morning routine. Unfortunately, all of the stories and the accompanying comments end up really depressing me and start me thinking that life just sucks and we're all doomed. I've tried researching "Positive" news sites but many of them seem to be religious in nature, or just things I can't relate to.
Yesterday, I came across something called The Charter For Compassion. It's a movement by global citizens to recognize that compassion is critical for the survival of the human race and the planet we live on. As part of the website, you can click on micro stories of compassion as understood, experienced or demonstrated by people all over the world.
Finally, I found my "new" news. Check it out if you want -
www.thecharterforcompassion.org
For a while now, every morning I read the Trib on the web as part of my morning routine. Unfortunately, all of the stories and the accompanying comments end up really depressing me and start me thinking that life just sucks and we're all doomed. I've tried researching "Positive" news sites but many of them seem to be religious in nature, or just things I can't relate to.
Yesterday, I came across something called The Charter For Compassion. It's a movement by global citizens to recognize that compassion is critical for the survival of the human race and the planet we live on. As part of the website, you can click on micro stories of compassion as understood, experienced or demonstrated by people all over the world.
Finally, I found my "new" news. Check it out if you want -
www.thecharterforcompassion.org
Hello again
Wow. I really was depressed. Hard to believe that's where my head and heart were only a month and a half ago, reading that "A" list from my perspective today it feels like another lifetime.
So what's changed? I guess you could say my mindset. I'm still "sick" per say, still have chronic muscle damage, spinal injuries, fibro, depression, pain and "holes in my brain"; MDM hasn't completely moved in and Z is still 11 and wielding her adolescence with exceptional skill. Perhaps I've just finally lost it completely and crossed over into the world of blissful denial. I suppose it's possible, but I don't think so and even if I have, hell, it's working pretty well for me and those around me so why try to tear it apart?
I started the full-day pain program at RIC on 12/21, at that time I had manged to pull myself out of the really bad place enough so I could absorb what they were teaching me. Always the obnoxious "smart kid" in the class, I reverted to that form and really worked at participating. I also found myself being the one I normally hate - you know, the dreaded PP (perky person). But putting myself in that role really helped me, and I think/hope it helped some of the others in my group.
At some point and time during one of our group psych. classes, I confessed that I'm not naturally an extrovert, or a positive person, in fact I'm very introverted, quiet, and exceedingly cynical. None of them believed me, which I now view as a complement. Making a conscious effort to go against my nature has brought a lot of positive benefits to my life. I'm still working at it every day and have made a commitment to myself and the world around me to continue to do so - Sorry Tam, I'll try not to be too annoying when I get back to work ; )
Anyway, I graduated last Friday, January 15th. Physically speaking, it's amazing how far I've come. On the first day, I could barely walk, was still having really bad tremors and spasms, wore my ear plugs all the time and jumped at each and every noise. My legs gave out on me partway through the day and I fell on the floor in front of everyone. Fast forward four weeks and I'm up to doing 25 minutes of interval training on the treadmill, have gained back nearly 90% of my flexibility, haven't used my earplugs or fallen in nearly three weeks, am able to actually eat a full meal once in a while and my tremors and spasms are much less frequent.
Yes, I'm still hypersensitive, physically weak and in pain, but I have the tools to deal with it, which I think the most import one is a diagnosis. Knowing what's causing all of this is huge for me, gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Knowledge is Power". I'm finally on a medicine regime that's working for me as opposed to "Let's throw this one and see if it sticks - oh, you have side effects, here's three more". I'm continuing to exercise, stretch, practice biofeedback techniques and just really trying to stay in each moment, i.e. being "mindful".
I honestly don't think this program would have worked for me five or even three years ago. My head just wasn't in the right place to absorb it and make use of it. I guess it just really took my body falling apart and becoming disabled for my mind to stop being crippled.
So what's changed? I guess you could say my mindset. I'm still "sick" per say, still have chronic muscle damage, spinal injuries, fibro, depression, pain and "holes in my brain"; MDM hasn't completely moved in and Z is still 11 and wielding her adolescence with exceptional skill. Perhaps I've just finally lost it completely and crossed over into the world of blissful denial. I suppose it's possible, but I don't think so and even if I have, hell, it's working pretty well for me and those around me so why try to tear it apart?
I started the full-day pain program at RIC on 12/21, at that time I had manged to pull myself out of the really bad place enough so I could absorb what they were teaching me. Always the obnoxious "smart kid" in the class, I reverted to that form and really worked at participating. I also found myself being the one I normally hate - you know, the dreaded PP (perky person). But putting myself in that role really helped me, and I think/hope it helped some of the others in my group.
At some point and time during one of our group psych. classes, I confessed that I'm not naturally an extrovert, or a positive person, in fact I'm very introverted, quiet, and exceedingly cynical. None of them believed me, which I now view as a complement. Making a conscious effort to go against my nature has brought a lot of positive benefits to my life. I'm still working at it every day and have made a commitment to myself and the world around me to continue to do so - Sorry Tam, I'll try not to be too annoying when I get back to work ; )
Anyway, I graduated last Friday, January 15th. Physically speaking, it's amazing how far I've come. On the first day, I could barely walk, was still having really bad tremors and spasms, wore my ear plugs all the time and jumped at each and every noise. My legs gave out on me partway through the day and I fell on the floor in front of everyone. Fast forward four weeks and I'm up to doing 25 minutes of interval training on the treadmill, have gained back nearly 90% of my flexibility, haven't used my earplugs or fallen in nearly three weeks, am able to actually eat a full meal once in a while and my tremors and spasms are much less frequent.
Yes, I'm still hypersensitive, physically weak and in pain, but I have the tools to deal with it, which I think the most import one is a diagnosis. Knowing what's causing all of this is huge for me, gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Knowledge is Power". I'm finally on a medicine regime that's working for me as opposed to "Let's throw this one and see if it sticks - oh, you have side effects, here's three more". I'm continuing to exercise, stretch, practice biofeedback techniques and just really trying to stay in each moment, i.e. being "mindful".
I honestly don't think this program would have worked for me five or even three years ago. My head just wasn't in the right place to absorb it and make use of it. I guess it just really took my body falling apart and becoming disabled for my mind to stop being crippled.
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As a born and bred New Englander raised on Revolutionary War history, I'm deeply offended by the use of "Tea Party" to describe the current movement being pimped by Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and other right winged celobbys.
The original Tea Party was held to protest taxation of the colonies without their having representation in the monarchy of King George. Ironically it seems that members of this new Tea Party espouse the free market and trickle down economic theories that have decimated our public and private wealth for all but a small group of Americans and added even more insult to an already injurious tax code. They also support the recent decision by the Supreme Court legalizing the sale of our country to the highest bidder.
Now only exceedingly wealthy corporations, private agenda organizations and individual billionaires will have representation in our government. I'm not naive enough to think this hasn't been the case for most elected officials since the Reagan era, however there are still some members of Congress who seem to actually represent those who voted for them and not just those who paid for them. Regardless of whether I support either ones views, the names Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich come to mind.
It's hard to say what is most frightening about this, the absolute and nearly irrevocable power of money or the ability of foreign business interests and governments to legislate U.S. policy. Perhaps we should just go ahead and change our name now to the "Dubaited States of America".
The values of John and Samuel Adams, Benjamen Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Dr. Joseph Warren, Paul Revere, Robert Treat Paine and the many others who worked to found our nation are not represented by the actions of this new breed of "patriot". Seriously people, bitching about the state of the economy and how unfair government is to the working man while you're spending over $500 to attend a convention and rubber chicken banquet - plus travel and accommodation fees- is a bit clueless.
This time it's not the tea that needs to be dumped, it's the party goers.