In honor of my Father, a past recipient of the Clara Barton Award, and my dear friend Veej, currently "in the trenches" here in the U.S.
Politics aside, I truly believe that the Red Cross makes our world a better place. To everyone who has ever donated money, blood, or time, thanks.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
a different sort of news
I've already rambled on enough today, and have stuff I need to do but I realized I hadn't posted the thing I wanted to, so...
For a while now, every morning I read the Trib on the web as part of my morning routine. Unfortunately, all of the stories and the accompanying comments end up really depressing me and start me thinking that life just sucks and we're all doomed. I've tried researching "Positive" news sites but many of them seem to be religious in nature, or just things I can't relate to.
Yesterday, I came across something called The Charter For Compassion. It's a movement by global citizens to recognize that compassion is critical for the survival of the human race and the planet we live on. As part of the website, you can click on micro stories of compassion as understood, experienced or demonstrated by people all over the world.
Finally, I found my "new" news. Check it out if you want -
www.thecharterforcompassion.org
For a while now, every morning I read the Trib on the web as part of my morning routine. Unfortunately, all of the stories and the accompanying comments end up really depressing me and start me thinking that life just sucks and we're all doomed. I've tried researching "Positive" news sites but many of them seem to be religious in nature, or just things I can't relate to.
Yesterday, I came across something called The Charter For Compassion. It's a movement by global citizens to recognize that compassion is critical for the survival of the human race and the planet we live on. As part of the website, you can click on micro stories of compassion as understood, experienced or demonstrated by people all over the world.
Finally, I found my "new" news. Check it out if you want -
www.thecharterforcompassion.org
Hello again
Wow. I really was depressed. Hard to believe that's where my head and heart were only a month and a half ago, reading that "A" list from my perspective today it feels like another lifetime.
So what's changed? I guess you could say my mindset. I'm still "sick" per say, still have chronic muscle damage, spinal injuries, fibro, depression, pain and "holes in my brain"; MDM hasn't completely moved in and Z is still 11 and wielding her adolescence with exceptional skill. Perhaps I've just finally lost it completely and crossed over into the world of blissful denial. I suppose it's possible, but I don't think so and even if I have, hell, it's working pretty well for me and those around me so why try to tear it apart?
I started the full-day pain program at RIC on 12/21, at that time I had manged to pull myself out of the really bad place enough so I could absorb what they were teaching me. Always the obnoxious "smart kid" in the class, I reverted to that form and really worked at participating. I also found myself being the one I normally hate - you know, the dreaded PP (perky person). But putting myself in that role really helped me, and I think/hope it helped some of the others in my group.
At some point and time during one of our group psych. classes, I confessed that I'm not naturally an extrovert, or a positive person, in fact I'm very introverted, quiet, and exceedingly cynical. None of them believed me, which I now view as a complement. Making a conscious effort to go against my nature has brought a lot of positive benefits to my life. I'm still working at it every day and have made a commitment to myself and the world around me to continue to do so - Sorry Tam, I'll try not to be too annoying when I get back to work ; )
Anyway, I graduated last Friday, January 15th. Physically speaking, it's amazing how far I've come. On the first day, I could barely walk, was still having really bad tremors and spasms, wore my ear plugs all the time and jumped at each and every noise. My legs gave out on me partway through the day and I fell on the floor in front of everyone. Fast forward four weeks and I'm up to doing 25 minutes of interval training on the treadmill, have gained back nearly 90% of my flexibility, haven't used my earplugs or fallen in nearly three weeks, am able to actually eat a full meal once in a while and my tremors and spasms are much less frequent.
Yes, I'm still hypersensitive, physically weak and in pain, but I have the tools to deal with it, which I think the most import one is a diagnosis. Knowing what's causing all of this is huge for me, gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Knowledge is Power". I'm finally on a medicine regime that's working for me as opposed to "Let's throw this one and see if it sticks - oh, you have side effects, here's three more". I'm continuing to exercise, stretch, practice biofeedback techniques and just really trying to stay in each moment, i.e. being "mindful".
I honestly don't think this program would have worked for me five or even three years ago. My head just wasn't in the right place to absorb it and make use of it. I guess it just really took my body falling apart and becoming disabled for my mind to stop being crippled.
So what's changed? I guess you could say my mindset. I'm still "sick" per say, still have chronic muscle damage, spinal injuries, fibro, depression, pain and "holes in my brain"; MDM hasn't completely moved in and Z is still 11 and wielding her adolescence with exceptional skill. Perhaps I've just finally lost it completely and crossed over into the world of blissful denial. I suppose it's possible, but I don't think so and even if I have, hell, it's working pretty well for me and those around me so why try to tear it apart?
I started the full-day pain program at RIC on 12/21, at that time I had manged to pull myself out of the really bad place enough so I could absorb what they were teaching me. Always the obnoxious "smart kid" in the class, I reverted to that form and really worked at participating. I also found myself being the one I normally hate - you know, the dreaded PP (perky person). But putting myself in that role really helped me, and I think/hope it helped some of the others in my group.
At some point and time during one of our group psych. classes, I confessed that I'm not naturally an extrovert, or a positive person, in fact I'm very introverted, quiet, and exceedingly cynical. None of them believed me, which I now view as a complement. Making a conscious effort to go against my nature has brought a lot of positive benefits to my life. I'm still working at it every day and have made a commitment to myself and the world around me to continue to do so - Sorry Tam, I'll try not to be too annoying when I get back to work ; )
Anyway, I graduated last Friday, January 15th. Physically speaking, it's amazing how far I've come. On the first day, I could barely walk, was still having really bad tremors and spasms, wore my ear plugs all the time and jumped at each and every noise. My legs gave out on me partway through the day and I fell on the floor in front of everyone. Fast forward four weeks and I'm up to doing 25 minutes of interval training on the treadmill, have gained back nearly 90% of my flexibility, haven't used my earplugs or fallen in nearly three weeks, am able to actually eat a full meal once in a while and my tremors and spasms are much less frequent.
Yes, I'm still hypersensitive, physically weak and in pain, but I have the tools to deal with it, which I think the most import one is a diagnosis. Knowing what's causing all of this is huge for me, gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Knowledge is Power". I'm finally on a medicine regime that's working for me as opposed to "Let's throw this one and see if it sticks - oh, you have side effects, here's three more". I'm continuing to exercise, stretch, practice biofeedback techniques and just really trying to stay in each moment, i.e. being "mindful".
I honestly don't think this program would have worked for me five or even three years ago. My head just wasn't in the right place to absorb it and make use of it. I guess it just really took my body falling apart and becoming disabled for my mind to stop being crippled.
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